Dear Santa,

My name is Sara and I am 6 years old. I have lots of toys so this year I’m not asking for anything for me. I just want one present for my mommy. I don’t know what it is but she really wants it. I think its called a DERVORSE. She is always yelling at daddy about how she wants one and she wants it now. And it makes her really mad that she doesn’t have one yet. I think I will be so happy for my mommy to finally get a dervorse then maybe everything will be okay for all of us.

Thanks Santa

Sara

Attn. North Pole

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to inform you that I am sickened by the corporate culture that you and your “Christmas” Holiday have forced upon children. Are you aware that while you are delivering gifts, right under Rudolf’s red nose, children in Africa are being forced to slaughter their own families on behalf of ruthless militant leaders… Is there an action figure set for that, Santa? Or how about the South American children who don’t have clean water to drink.  This year Santa, I want you to deal with these issues immediately! That is all I want this year. Buuuuuuut, if you can’t do this, then I will take a 14 foot trampoline instead.

Jennifer, 6 years old

Dear Jesus,

First let me say happy birthday. Secondly, if you see Santa can you tell him I would like a Justin Bieber Doll, the one that sings the same two lines over and over. He is my absolute idol! I worship him soooo much. I can’t think of anyone who has given me so much happiness, or given so much to the world. I mean really he is like the greatest person to ever walk this earth. Also, tell him to bring me a Justin Bieber full size cardboard cut-out… he is so awesome. Before I heard him sing, I felt like life wasn’t even worth living, but I heard his words and I was saved. It’s like he is my personal savior.  Anyway, Justin’s birthday is March 1^st, incase you want to get him something.

Merry Bieber-Mas,

Susan, 37 years old

Dear Santa,

I’m so confused about what I would like under my tree this December. I guess if you put a gun to my head I would have to ask for a nice new vest, maybe something with some weight to it, lined with C4. NO WAIT! Forget that, can you just bring me a new shirt, one of those American flag shirts. Yeah, that would be great. Then again, my prayer mat is getting pretty worn out, we Muslims have to pray a lot you know. Do you make prayer mats Santa? You know what, can you just send me an iPad mini.

Nicholas Brody